Messy Me!

My day started on a lousy note, waking up late, getting ready late and cascading it to the level ,that I boarded my cab late, by about 5 minutes. On such occasions (read most of the times), I take away my breakfast and utilize the sleazy hour and half journey to savor on the food. So, I was just about doing that, but I guess I was sleepier than other days, hence in a mental mess.

I spilled the tea in the tumbler on my crisp white kurti and made an outrageous noise by tearing the newspaper (to fit to the window pane and in turn devoid my body of Vitamin D, but I am an anti-tanning freak so can’t help it).I misplaced my lap top bag and it made a bombastic impact (and sound) falling off the car seat when the driver hit the brake. Now, incidentally the driver had come for our pick up for the first time, and he made a face of sorts at me, clearly making me conscious.

Alright, I did behave myself, but for how long could I do that! My cab mate requested to switch off the a\c, which I politely wanted to oblige to, but she made a rut each time saying it was still cold and that the air conditioner was on. So, I hit the air conditioner button really hard to stop at one go (I actually wanted to show her, that it was off) but ended up with the button in my hand. Silly me! My cab mates, just giggled! The driver took the switch back from me and asked “chalana hai ya nahi?”(“want the a\c or not?”)

Now, I was too conscious already and just hoped to reach office without any further drama, but the messy day would just not take my request in. I thought the ordeal was over, but then as I was about  to step out of the cab, one of my ballerina slipped off L.The driver again looked at me and shook his head. What I was thinking? Oh God! ab is din ko boring bana do ji, bahut hass liye sab.(Lord ,please make this day a boring one now, everyone has had a hearty laugh already).

I, literally ran to the office building. Phew! What a messy morning it was. I still had the tea stains to wash off!

Act as – if

What do you on a day, loaded with inhuman heaps of work (something more than 4 hours is ridiculously inhuman), piles on your personal and professional to- do list and anticipation of annoying yet unavoidable conversations\ moments with your friends, family and relatives?

Well, we all have different escape sequences to our rescue. Mine, is something which I call the “act as- if” day. So last Thursday, was the recent one. Here is what happened.

I started my day watching “Perfect Stranger” on my way to office and was already making plans for the week end. But to my dismay!  as soon as I reached office, I was asked to show off team spirit traits(of which I  boasted in my assessment) by helping to take off some work load, from my colleague.

My live voice (LV) said: “You moron,don’t test my patience. Why did you commit to more than you could deliver on your own?”

I said: “Sure! We are a team.”

Obviously I had no intension of working so I started to act as-if, I suddenly remembered getting an email last night from my panicked client asking for a quick presentation and how bad my tooth ache was today and had my cousins’ kids to take out in the evening.

I said: “In spite of all this, I will surely help you. Probably, I will give my lunch a miss and refuse my cousin too. After all, we are a team.

Poor him, he fell for my bait and was quite uneasy (you could see that on his face),came up to me and thanked me for my concern, but said he will put in extra hours over the weekend and finish it and that I need to take care of the tooth ache and forwarded me numbers of some dentists. Bang on! Act as if! So I enjoyed that day in a meeting room watching videos on Youtube about “How to apply mascara and eyeliner like a pro!”

In the evening I had stuffed myself with a yummylicious egg roll, which I think, is one of the best ways to kill time plying from Gurgaon to Delhi in the torturous traffic, but I had to avoid a family drama of not having dinner, in front of my relatives. So, I fudged a bit of Kajal, made a sad face to  my enthusiastic cousin who proclaimed “Didi aa gayai” [sister has come ]as soon as I got off my cab telling her that I had a super busy day and that my shoulders were sore, but I would cheer them up in the cards game. Result: I, was requested to sleep, with a steaming coffee cuppa and a nice shoulder massage. Devil me! I was rather amused, act- as if and everything is sorted .

Actually, there is quite a list, of such tricks:

1.      Miss, something from your regular make up,for example the kajal, or shabby-comb your hair and you are sure to get this from your boss “Why don’t you go home early? You need some rest it seems”.

2.     Tell your kin you would love to be with them, but for the work.

3.     Act-as if, you are already, at the designated meeting point (when you are running late that is), take a few names of the nearby landmarks and make the other person feel guilty that you are waiting.

4. .   Act –as if, you don’t want to sound greedy, to gulp down your colleague’s "lip smacking delicacy"(only they think so) and start asking for the recipe when you want to avoid the horrible thing they have dished out and ask you to try it.

5.     Act- as if you feel terrible, having lost what your friend gifted you, when you actually have passed it on(as a gift) to another.

 Well, these are great for fun and escape to the useless ranter of people and life ,but for those who really care for you , Act as- if you love them always! even if you are irritated or annoyed at times.