Gobble Gobble

Do you ever wonder about the table manners that the people around you like your friends or colleagues possess? Or, even if, they possess any at all?

Well I have been observing this for some time now and I am baffled at how manner less people are. I am not talking about the high end fancy restaurant manners where it’s a sin to eat with the fork in the right hand.

There is this type who always make a rattling sound while chewing, it’s a curse to have to listen to them when they savor chips.Khaaach Khaaach…it feels as they have world war-I with the contents after they dig in to the packet, then they sleazily win out on one bite and begins world war II with the teeth and tongue. Loop till the last chip.

Wait! After that the packet is searched thoroughly for any left or broken pieces which were missed out, just like the cops search out for a thief in every nook and corner leaving the perimeters upside down.

Another clan is those who blow out at the hot dish on the table to cool them, making a roaring sound. Grow! Up Dude! this is how your parents fed you as an infant; you can forget it for a while.

You are at a restaurant with a bunch of people and you catch a person from your table checking out what the other tables have ordered. Holy embarrassing!!!

I have a few suggestions for the above and alike categories:

1.   Please don’t rape your pizza by spooning the toppings and then eating the bread in its disgruntled state.

2.   Don’t blow open your table napkin as if you are putting your clothes to dry.

3.   Ask!!! Don’t goof up a mezze platter as a “new Chinese dish”!!!

4.   The smallest spoon is to used as a tea spoon; don’t use it to dig in to the dish straight.

5.   Don’t cut your food in to small pieces all at one go as if you are serving your cat.

6.   Make sure the person you are foot teasing (below the table obviously) is your girl friend \ boy friend.

Bon appetit!