High on Life!!!

Here I am again, doing what makes my soul content.Writing is my first expression.

I am high on life these days.Purely quenching my life's thirst by doing things I , had only been thinking of for some time now.I am totally following my bliss and have found life to be much worthy.
I got two cute blue stud  piercings.Okay these are the fourth and fifth in number of the total brutalities that I have incurred on my tender ear cartilages till date.

I headed to the fucha market called K.Nags along with a friend.I had once become the victim of a joke when someone mentioned Kamla Nagar as K.Nags and I was clueless how the trend of christening places processed.Anyways, so we arrived at the Adarsh Body piercing (body piercing ran multiple thoughts in my mind, but there were no explicit pictures to support this art,sadly they don’t know the power of visualisations) and Tattoo art studio.

 A "I-know-it-all about your ear lobes baby" kind of man marked the positions to be pierced on my ear line and while I was just discussing with my friend ,as to whether I should get one or two piercings on the same day, he dug the silvery in to my ears and TUCK  I got a Blue stud,TUCK and I got  another one.I was surprised , he chalked out the position of the second one according to his whim.Anyhow the studs look both cute.

I felt as though I had come to deliver a baby and while till chatting with my significant half the doctor gives me a set of twins.Funny, I know!

It did not hurt that time but later in the evening, I felt like I need to be on local anesthesia.

All in all it was a good experience. Yes it definitely made me smile, made it a meaningful weekend as I accomplished one of the things on my "to do".

 Other than the piercings , have started an active healthy lifestyle regime,bought a Canon IXUS 130 , experimenting and learning to click good pictures.I have bought some nice herbal skin care products to pamper myself, got my room done for new furniture and decor,have started disliking pasta and started enjoying the tikka \ roasted delicacies more.

I am high on fruits,celebrations of life, smiling my heart out and loving myself this way.All my time is for me :).Pink Floyd  is my new addiction.
I am planning  to start up  a beauty and skin care blog soon.Sounds like a chick thingy but it would be more about the reviews on products (old & new) I have used and some of my personal experiences.Hope to fly on that.
My dream is to fly over the rainbow so HIGH!!!!!!!!!

Gobble Gobble

Do you ever wonder about the table manners that the people around you like your friends or colleagues possess? Or, even if, they possess any at all?

Well I have been observing this for some time now and I am baffled at how manner less people are. I am not talking about the high end fancy restaurant manners where it’s a sin to eat with the fork in the right hand.

There is this type who always make a rattling sound while chewing, it’s a curse to have to listen to them when they savor chips.Khaaach Khaaach…it feels as they have world war-I with the contents after they dig in to the packet, then they sleazily win out on one bite and begins world war II with the teeth and tongue. Loop till the last chip.

Wait! After that the packet is searched thoroughly for any left or broken pieces which were missed out, just like the cops search out for a thief in every nook and corner leaving the perimeters upside down.

Another clan is those who blow out at the hot dish on the table to cool them, making a roaring sound. Grow! Up Dude! this is how your parents fed you as an infant; you can forget it for a while.

You are at a restaurant with a bunch of people and you catch a person from your table checking out what the other tables have ordered. Holy embarrassing!!!

I have a few suggestions for the above and alike categories:

1.   Please don’t rape your pizza by spooning the toppings and then eating the bread in its disgruntled state.

2.   Don’t blow open your table napkin as if you are putting your clothes to dry.

3.   Ask!!! Don’t goof up a mezze platter as a “new Chinese dish”!!!

4.   The smallest spoon is to used as a tea spoon; don’t use it to dig in to the dish straight.

5.   Don’t cut your food in to small pieces all at one go as if you are serving your cat.

6.   Make sure the person you are foot teasing (below the table obviously) is your girl friend \ boy friend.

Bon appetit!

The informed kid

Day before yesterday, while visiting a nearby pharmacy I had a stint at the degree of information (I am skeptical to call it knowledge) kids possess these days.    

 I was standing at the counter and getting the medicines billed when a kid accompanied by his dad (yes, the order mentioned is intentional because that’s what it seemed like) was endorsing a strawberry flavored liquid mouth wash to his dad. “They have flavors in that too!!!?” asked the surprised dad. The kid smiled sheepishly, winked and pointed at the packets of flavored condoms placed there and coolly replied “They have flavors in everything”.

You  should have seen the embarrassed look on his father’s face. It’s ok uncle, we know you didn’t teach him this  or the “what to use when doing IT”.

Surprisingly alarmed? Yes, I was. He was normal.

I guess children (not sure if we should call them children) are over formed or is it that the internet, media, school curriculum gives them enough exposure to be this. They know something fishy goes in between making a baby. They know it’s cool to profess knowledge and expertise about condoms, dildos, sanitary napkins. They ought to know the sizes of the assets designed by God.

My, five year old  niece sighs every February, over the fact that she doesn’t have a valentine to gift her flowers unlike how her dada gifts flowers to her mom. And we thought we should set examples of happy ,loving families to kids to make them better humans.

An eight year old was found sleeping for hours during school hours, the reason of which was later found to be Vodka in his water bottle where you and me carried orange juice at the max. Outdated is the word they use!

During my early college days I heard a bunch of 13-14 odd years old bunch discussing SEX.Oh! they lag behind, we have a set of unwed 13 year old parent from UK.

The informed brass they are!!!!!!!!

Meetha hai!!!!!!!

With a lot of high priority things bugging my head these days, I think I will find solace in writing this light hearted yet the “leaves a smile on your face” reoccurring moment of  life.

Having grown up in a Mediterranean country like Libya, I and my sister had the lesser advantage to savor on the famous summer Indian fruit which is Mango. During our vacation trips to India we would gorge on mangoes, mango pickle, the khatta meetha mango chutney that  biji made and all most every mango laden concoction not to forget litres of mango shake that would be an excuse and tonic to endure the scorching heat.

A peculiar event that always happens during the fruit session after the meals is, examining the mangoes (read greedy tasting) for which everybody in the family turns certified testers. My uncle would cut neat pieces and then say  bada ee miththai hai (meetha hai!!!!).Then biji would tell us her meethe aam stories from Patiala and everyone would start with their experiences. Someone would say the longer ones are better , others would advocate thee red ones and someone would swear the sweetness directly proportional to the shape via langda, choker aam etc etc.

Till date ,without fail my dad advocates his ability to distinguish wadiya aamb(better mangoes) from the bekar hai ones over everybody else’s choice and then say proudly slicing it Meetha hai!!!!!! My sister has this habit of cutting her share of mango slices in beautiful shapes and then she would turn to dad n say…aur khate hain…Meetha hai!!!!! ;).A distant jolly aunt (that's her nature not name) once told me how she secretly hides a mango or two in the flour  container for she is diabetic and no one would let her have her sweet meetha hai moment.

Though I am not an avid mango lover and most of the above did not make any sense to me during my growing years, yet when I think about this sweet moment, I end up smiling and asking my folks ..Meetha hai?

Stanley Ka Dabba

As the name suggests, SKD is about a kids tiffin box as they fondly call it Dabba in India.
Wait... it ain't about the jumpy feeling we all usually had as kids,just before the lunch time to discover the yummy food in the fancy, colorful boxes we carried from home.
It's about the innocence, the learning fire with a day starting with zest and bending creativity round the clock.It's about counting our blessings , for life is a gift to enjoy, learn and share.
Stanley is a sweet and creative kid, good at recitation and verses.He has a zeal to live life and doesn't care about things he doesn't have.Things he doesn't have? No, they are not fancy pencil boxes, bags, shoes or sports wear.It's a mum that he doesn't have who an cook his Dabba.Sad...:(.
He never shares this fact with his friends and manges by drinking water during the recess everyday until his friends figure out the truth and start sharing their dabba with him.
In context is also an insensitive teacher , who outsets him from the class failing to bring a dabba and thinking that he gulped his share (the teacher's share ) from his friends (stanley's friends) dabba.
Baby Stanley , then manages to bring a tiffin to the school after absenting for days as instructed by the "khadoos" teacher,which makes the teachers heart melt.Funny are incidents where this teacher searches the boys during the lunch break to greedily gulp their homemade food.


The movie addresses a  very important social issue.The kid manages to bring the dabba from a "Dhaaba" where he works after school.He prays at night to his late parents and his quest , his smile are unparalleled the next day onwards again,meeting his friends and sharing his food from the dabba with his teachers and friends making up stories how his mother manages to bring the best vegetables from all over Mumbai and Punjab and cook him the best food.
A heart touching story.Scenes look real just like from my and your school.The teachers room conversation reflects different personalities.Picturises Indian household lunch boxes and how they are an integral part of our growing up years and later too. Reminiscence of  our school days as kids.Also reminds us how lunch break unites us with friends, colleagues and teachers too  in this case.

Morning Sickness --------> Morning Lousiness

Morning sickness is what I diagnosed as my pathological /psychological /lame excuse problem but, after some self research on the literally definition I came to know that this a term used to define and describe nausea in expecting mommies. So sans the pregnancy I now call it morning lousiness.

I pledge every night to get up early in the morning -> exercise -> get ready -> eat a healthy breakfast > get some fruits in my bag -> reach office early (even on time would be good for me) -> read ET -> work.

What I do is : get up late in the morning -> mostly do not exercise -> have my healthy breakfast ->watch TV -> read infotainment section \ gossip in the newspaper ->call friends -> chit chat -> lie to my friends that I am all ready -> rush to get ready-> forget the fruits -> reach office late -> work -> eat junk.

The quest to live the perfect life comes from my obsession towards the art of living and positive thinking stuff that I read a lot and follow very little. The above analysis was done when a friend questioned me repeatedly for days, about the reason I get late for work. So it was a kind of serendipity realization.

I was quite an early riser from the very beginning until a friend at my first work place told me how he managed to sleep till late and watch movies in the morning before coming to office and how life was so relaxed for him.

                                                                                                 

Well, one fine morning I was getting ready for work during my early rising days (but still within flipping through the channels) when I noticed Julia Roberts romancing Gere and I couldn’t resist watching Pretty Woman for the fifth time! I reached office around 11:15 am and everything around seemed to be cool. So this gave me all the more courage to watch movies before going to office and hence getting late and having lousy mornings.

That cringing back to bed again and again, lost in dreams, thinking in the head to go early yet sleeping again. Watching TV as if I am Osama tin laden to miss any of my footage on the reel or a highly sought after Hollywood actress. Then hurrying up at a speed, as one would fear missing the last space ship in 2012 to take off the habitation to a protected place.

Seriously doing something when you are least supposed to do it, gives a high, thrilling feeling. Leaves a rebellious streak and king \queen of ones will type of attitude.

 Nevertheless it then becomes routine and then one tries finding ways to prioritize. A vicious circle it is: Control, loose, lose control and end up having a lousy morning.

Driving the Road ahead

Driving the Road ahead

It’s been some while that I had a dependency on my driver or for that matter someone who could drive me around the city. All I thought at such times was “Wish I could drive”. Sigh! I could not drive. I would envy other people driving effortlessly on the roads. Read: jealous too.

Driving, as we all know is a necessary skill these days to help one trot hassle free. So one fine day, down introspection time I made up my mind for the then-so-called Rocket science for me called driving.

So, here started my stint with driving lessons. Stumbling and gearing up I dexterously tried (I was the only one who thought so though) adjusting the power steering in harmony with the accelerator , brake and clutch .Albeit I tried all the possible permutations and combinations for the match making or for match fixing these parameters, I succeeded and failed most of the times. All those readers having the word “expected” in their minds, it is extremely important for you to read the below.

Well there are a lot of preconceived notions that a green horn like me juggles with, in the head regarding driving principles. Some of them being:

a. Driving classes will make you a superb driver.

b. Driving teacher is responsible to click the enable your road sense setting in your grey anatomy tool options and enhance your logical ability.

c. You have to be an A- lister driver within the stipulated two weeks /half hour a day scheme.

d. Something wrong happens on the road every time I drive. (This one is my favorite).

e. No, one understands me.

f. I am just not made for it.

So juggling through all this I completed one course and asked my dad to evaluate me.

Live voice: I actually wanted to show off to my family and was boisterous enough to think that next week onwards I would drive to my work place.

Dads verdict: I still need to learn Forward gears =3/5; Back gear =0/5; steering control=3/5; Efficiency= 2/5; Parking =0/5.I had failed!!!!!!!!!!!  Still the “expected” expression? Read on.

So, of course No one understands me crops in .I won’t give in, come what may is something I imbibed from my mom both genetically and psychologically, so I enrolled to another driving school from where my neighbor pammi aunty learnt draving.Pun and pum intended. Wink wink.

Needless to say something wrong happened on the road every time. The instructor barked at me like a stray dog most of the times. This led me to park the car in a corner and say “Your shouting ain’t making me learn” so Good bye .I took upon DIY (do- it- yourself) approach and ended up hitting my neighbor shammi uncle’s bumper, well not his but his cars’ silly, and thus started my onslaught in the form of being black mailed by the daemon, the only eye witness (evil eye witness I would say), our sweeper for chai paani.

Now I was after my dad to make me learn. He being the dutiful father and wanting his daughters to know the world attempted. So every Sunday morning, we would go the training ground and he would diligently teach me sharing his experiences and how he learnt on his own. He thought I would pick up. He tried and lost his cool when I showed no improvement. This was when I am not made for this crept in. Sigh!!!

The next Sunday morning, of course basking in my failure glory, I was still dozing off in bed when my sweet dad came up and said “Let’s go driving”. I was all smiles. To this day I have shown improvement and I say this because my dad has asked to me apply a Learners this week.Yipee!!!!!

Learning: believe in yourself; never say never even if some friends say “Kitno ko kuchal diya” when you call them all excited to share your driving endeavors.

Sometimes..............

Sometimes…..

Sometimes I ponder…….when the little girl I was, always wanted to grow up so fast…..

Wanted my way,  and my word, and be all that and where I wanted.

I wanted to be this woman who is all so in control, expressed her mind and had a view point.

I wanted to be in the fast lane and achieve it all and stand out….

Now that I am the woman, I crave for the time I was this little girl.

Of the innocence and the moments I owned to dream…of the playful bliss…of not runnin outa the damn time…

Sometimes….

Sometimes ….I am strong to support someone at their mind…

and sometimes my heart is crystal fragile to decide for  myself….

Sometimes I am lost, not to the world…..but to myself….

I am nameless, don’t know my directions….I decipher and manage..

Sometimes I am all love…….sometimes the shrewd tamer….

Sometimes I am tamed and sometimes I tame…..

Sometimes I care for the world around and love ‘ em back…

Sometimes I want to be on my own…..like I don’t own an address or a cell phone…

Sometimes I tend to gaze in to the infinity……….

I dunno what I think….i talk to my existence….

Sometimes I am back to my crazy world………of hopes and aspirations galore…

Sometimes I think of the bright sunny days and the love around me…..

Sometimes life is beautiful….sometimes…………

Of the office pig

Of the office pig

So we all embark on new jobs with a zeal, to achieve it all and rule the world…wa’ow …sounds and feels good, but  then sometimes (sometimes is important , doesn’t happen at all the places) ,months down the line set in monotony ,lean phases iced with the office pigs around to make life all the more miserable.

Yes, I bestow upon them this miraculously filthy name the attributes of which, they are so upbeat about.

So, who qualifies in the category? Well it’s filthy, lickers who describe their presence with aplomb at unrequited places(read always with the managers).

People, your managers’ parents have done a good job bringing them up so they do not need you for oh so small things like rejuvenating them with a coffee cuppa or for that matter flattering them with chocolates and delicacies from home, for once do you think your manger is a handicap? A better dig though: why don’t you smear those chocolates on the manager …and then you know what to do. Ding!!!

Another category is, those trying to impress their female bosses, yeah sweet heart please hold the laptop, but why? Do you think she is expectantly weak or wait…You have a role there? Dong!!!

Quick massages and super jazzy englees can help too.

Another peculiar office pig I hold an acquaintance with, typically fulfills the definition, yes he takes care that our clients eat his favorite cuisine and then  hogs on the left overs once they leave. Dude were you born so uber cool or it some certification that’s helped you? Oops …!!! People, please don’t feel disgusted reading this….such people are a crowning glory.

I am still figuring if they have a help line where in you can report such animals, but MCD uncle please keep them away from the stray dogs…..they might be licked ;)

What is Porn?????

  

I have this voice inside me who keeps saying weird but true things to me, which somehow, I mange not to bout outta my mouth and call it the Live voice (LV).

Control your thought frenzy, yes we are talking about porn and I can understand all your anticipation about the definition and description of porn you seek out here.

This incident dates back to my Satyam days as a trainee (and batch seminar rep) at Hyderabad, asked to arrange seminars. An enthusiast colleague of mine was going through his slides about some animation technique, the contents of which were nicely CTRL C’ed - CTRL V’ed , from the web. A shy and quiet girl raised her hand and asked him to move to the previous slide which he gladly did , expressions of showing off attentive listeners aloud on this face and she asked “What is porn ?”…."Animation is used in pornography too " : she read this on the slide.

Aghast!!! He looked at me and I stumbled upon my desk with the jolt. I mumbled and jumbled - "The content is inappropriate to be discussed ", but probably puberty hit her that day itself and she wanted to know all about porn.

The proud speaker now retracted from the presentation and asked me to take over the situation.

(LV:  yeah sure, as if I have been giving Porn lectures at Harvard since ages….I don’t even know if they teach Porn at Harvard).

I wanted to say: "Please do not insist,next presentation please."

(LV : Girl!!!! what  were you doing all this while ? other than applying coconut oil and putting on those gajaras. Search Google and you will find lots of it.

I actually said : Search Google and you will find lots of it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!!!!!!!! I said that.

And everybody was amused at their bold seminar representative.

I stood there spellbound and motion less like a stone.

Jagar, my dear friend was stunned and came to my rescue,he somehow managed to ward off further explicit content discussions.

LV and me (to the presenter): Learn what to copy ...man!!!!!!!!!!!!

So now you know what is porn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!